In 2016, an author writing several articles under the nickname “Realist” appeared on the “Masculist” website. (No, his name is not Ruslan Diaghilev). “Realist” was remarkable in that he managed to do what supporters of the “traditional family” dream of: he managed to build the same Patriarchal family under the matriarchy – to raise a woman, have children etc. It seemed that everything was fine: the wife, formally, did not oppose him, children were healthy, but this has not brought happiness to the comrade.
I saved this article and show it for you now. Thanks to the comrade “Realist”, he gave me permission to place all his articles on my websites, blogs and channels. I do not agree with the author in everything there are some issues where my opinion does not coincide with his. But, in general, I think that the article deserves attention because the establishment of a family (if you, after all, have made such decision) leads to great responsibility in any case. Man must know all the ins and outs of this event (marriage and aftermath), so this article is definitely no superfluous.
There are a lot of “theorists and ideologists” revelations on the EMM forum last time. They tell us how “real high-ranking male” actualizes under the matriarchy using his family and offspring, as if his is boring without children and he is even “degenerate”.
Some grandiose plans are deduced through such reasoning. Either building a society of universal male well-being or creating the fabulous city of Kitezh, where all “high-ranking males” create their own conglomerate that ignores the laws of matriarchy and live by your own laws and rules similar to ethnic diasporas rules. At the same time, all the authors of such wonderful concepts modestly keep silent about their personal experience of building a “family” and raising “their offspring”. But if they do, it’s about the same as in the news on Soviet TV: triumphant branding of the imperialists and high praises to the beloved of the Secretary-General.
Moreover, some theorists even talk about some “super-true high-ranking male” about whom they know for sure and who turned out great everything in the field of organizing the “family” and raising “their offspring” (his females is even “not such” – the most real “high-ranking”).
For example, “super-true high-ranking male” has a virgin woman from patriarchal family as life partner. He draws up a marriage contract with her under the law of the country where the interests of men are protected. He is happily raising children. (Yeah, just like that in a Patriarchal society fathers sleep and see how to give their daughter not for a man of their circle, but for a certain “pepper” from God knows what hole).
I will not go into detail about the fantasy of a family contract under the law of third countries, as a panacea for protecting family investments. I will only say that in Russian courts, they are judged according to Russian rules, and the rule is simple: children are left to the woman, and money is taken from the man. At that, Russian law ALWAYS has priority if the marriage contract contradicts the family law and the woman’s rights are violated. If the marriage contract is even concluded in the Republic of Surges and Grivas, the Russian judge leaves the children to the woman, drank the assets and appoint a child support because there is a priority of child interests (i.e. women). Any doubts? Please, read thoroughly “Review of judicial practice of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation N 4 (2015)”, approved by the Presidium of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation on December 23, 2015 (p. 4) – Definition N 45-KG15-3: “A child needs love and understanding for the full and harmonious development of its personality according to principle 6 of the Declaration of the rights of the child adopted by UN General Assembly Resolution 1386 (XIV) on November 20, 1959. It should, whenever possible, grow up under the care and responsibility of its parents, and in any case in an atmosphere of love and moral and material security; a young child should not, except in exceptional circumstances, be separated from its mother.”
Do the “patriarchs and other “family” organizers have any more questions? It does not matter whenever country your marriage contract belongs to. Although the Emperor of the galactic Empire personally assured you of it. There is simple understood of international law by Russian courts: the child must be with the woman, except in cases where there are “exceptional circumstances”, which in practice means almost NEVER.
By the way, about the “super-true high-ranking male” (however, theorists and ideologists call him not , but simply high-status. Please look at the divorce proceedings of almost all oligarchs: the result – children and money belong to the woman –probably these are not real oligarchs. They know how to make billions of dollars, but do not know how to screw a woman over, and the best lawyers in the world who work for them don’t know about it. But theorists and ideologists know and give out cosmically significant advice.
Okay, this was just a little legal digression to return from the heights of unrestrained fantasies (in which theorists and ideologists hover) to our sinful land, where real laws apply and there is an impenetrable judicial practice.
Returned? Quite well, let’s talk about real life now.
Real life is like this: if you have ordinary parents and you yourself snatch a piece of bread from an aggressive external environment, then you will live my dear reader, approximately like me.
And I lived and live like this: study, army, work, then study again, then becoming a profession, in the end you cannot stable earn before 33-35 years.
The earning means having your own corner, and a financial cushion to feed and provide for yourself and at least 2 other people.
I will leave without comments all fantasies of “theorists and ideologists” about how “high-ranking” male is already achieving success at 25 years of age. Please, get a closer look. He has wealthy parents or great inheritance. But I talk about people like me, that is, about simple guys who have to plow for 12-14 hours a day to ensure a minimum level of comfort for them by the age of 33-35.
Well, you seem to have provided yourself with a material pillow, but if you did, then you hardly led a very cheerful life with clubs-pubs-parties-discos until 33-35. Most likely, you didn’t have a lot of women, and if you did, the quality of women, let’s face it, was not so good.
And here, “high-ranking” male has read the next “theorist and ideologist”, is under the pressure of public opinion (“and why are you not married, but what about children, a real man should continue himself, a house/tree/son, and when we will have grandchildren”), has a “real man’s business” and he will meet such or not such female (in most cases – with “mileage” and experience of sexual life with a large number of men). Will he start to build a family and raise his own children?
And theorists and ideologists either fade away, or begin to philosophize profoundly on the topic of unheard-of joy and even intellectual orgasm (which “high-ranking male” in the Prime of life and having a “real man’s business” gets in such a situation) on this lyrical note.
I.e., you understood: from this moment on, “theorists and ideologists” will have ZERO specifics, but there will be beautiful General words and slogans.
For a long time I could not understand the reason for this silence of “theorists and ideologists”. But then I have understood. After all, there is really nothing particularly pleasant to tell them, and there is no escaping the analysis of what it really is a “prophet” who preaches for the self-realization of the best of the best and the strongest of the strongest “high-ranking” male through “family” and “offspring”.
On my observation, there are four groups of “prophets”:
- Outright liars. They can often be women pretending to be men on men’s forums. They tell stories about themselves that are incredible in their misery, in which the truth is not enough. For example, that a person has more than 5 children, or that he has enough 30 thousand rubles per month to feed/support a family with 3 children and a non-working wife.
- Storytellers. They talk half-truth. For example, his children are educated in a mode of Sunday dad, a woman with a child lives alone and COMPLETELY free from the actions of “Patriarch”, but about this silence, for no reason the reading public to know these juicy details.
- People, who do not sweat it too much. They have children in another city/country, they sometimes meet them. Or the custody of children on grandmothers/maids, life was a success. I.e. they cut down on the dough, smoked bamboo.
- People with sanctity greater than that of the Pope, the Ecumenical Patriarch and other influential friends in religion business. They give an interpretation of the Bible, according to which “a real peasant must give land to a collective farm”. They have little understanding of the difference between the “sanctity” of a fool and the principles of an ordinary layman life.
The use of all tales by “prophets” for the bulk of men, at best, is zero. And, at worst, they create a lot of trouble. Because a man who has no proper life experience can take these tales “about the city of Kitezh” at face value and he will try to implement in real life. But when he could face reality he would receive very noticeable discomfort from the consequences. Certainly, “prophets” have no responsibility for their out of touch advice and moralizing. In any case they can get out of them, as if, “you misunderstand” and man who listened to their provocative advice was not “super-true high-ranking male”, i.e. this is usual Scam.
Dear readers, are you concerned about the term “discomfort”? Let me immediately clarify the essence of my view of life, especially because this view is hard-won life experience (well, I have trampled the Earth fifth decade).
What about the comfort/discomfort? I’m one of those who have learned the following thing over the years. To do overwork (self-actualization, doing men’s business) – it only makes sense if your efforts and time spent by you are aimed at getting a RESULT for you PERSONALLY.
As for me, I consider it a reasonable result to achieve PERSONAL good and PERSONAL comfort: material and tangible. There are not for me such goals as achieving the “Universal Good” and building a phantasmagoria of the “Universal Kingdom of Reason» etc. Because the life is too short and there will be no second chance.
It is sad that this realization came to me too late, when, alas, it is impossible to win back.
The main misfortune of the generation raised under the Soviet Union is the education in the spirit of such fact that a real man is obliged/should ruin himself for the sake of anything but not for his own good and comfort.
The family / school raised us to serve the people/country/family. Please, throw ideology and demagogy away! You will see that you have grown up to serve the authorities and women.
So, some facts about my experience of “family” building and “my children” raising:
First of all, my woman had an experience from previous relations / intercourses as well as a woman of the vast majority of “patriarchs”, “theorists and ideologists”.
We planned our kids, her pregnancy went without complications. At first it seemed good.
Let’s have some facts:
- Your own home. It will be even better not to plan kids whenever you have no flat (at least three-room apartment). You will be like in the hell, no matter that woman tries all 100 % – you are guaranteed a madhouse for at least a year. I was lucky because earned money for a three-room apartment and I thank God my children are healthy. But there could be baby cries 3 times per night, feeding a baby, changing diapers that excluded sleep at night at all if you had less than 2 rooms. My wife was doing all these, but I slept with earplugs.
- Material costs. Be ready for increasing your expenses will rise up to heaven. You may certainly beg for friends and relatives collecting alms and used items. But you cannot completely eliminate costs. Let’s notice the main:
- Pay doctors, if you want to improve ward conditions and have an excellent specialist during childbirth, but not “a horse doctor”. There is 15000 – 50000 roubles price tag in my region.
- Buy high-quality foreign food for infants (because domestic almost everything with poison-palm oil) if your wife either have no breast milk or takes medications that exclude breastfeeding). The price tag is at least 10000 roubles per month.
- Prepare at least 5000 roubles per month (in case you are very lucky that the child is healthy and you do not need to buy pills), if you do not want to be in long queues of common general Clinic. In addition, there are some visitors may be infected with tuberculosis.
- Your wife is guaranteed to get sick with something after giving birth (Surely there will be problems with her teeth). So, you should still prepare 5000 roubles per month.
- Strollers, baby baths, baby vests, diapers etc. All cost would still be 5000 roubles per month.
- When baby grew a little, you need to go to kid’s centers, buy different toys etc. Also, God grant that the child would be healthy.
- Children’s clothes. For those who dress a child not with alms and second-hand shops. Children’s clothing and shoes are much more expensive than adults. (AliExpress help you) – at least 5000 roubles per month.
All my expenses for the child in General are 60000 roubles per month (in minimal). Two kids, unemployed wife (moreover, thrifty), I am “a cheap”.
Have you been impressed?
Now about what you pay for.
Sex goes away either completely or will be heavily dosed. “Patriarchs” feel good: they have time and money for mistresses they are given sex by mistresses not for money (just like that) and Patriarchal “high-ranking females” are conscious and trouble-free.
And it’s not even in the refusal of woman, but in the state of woman’s health during pregnancy, in her condition after the birth. Also, during the period until the children are 3 years old they can only sleep in case if the mother is nearby.
Comfort in your home and free time will disappear altogether. Completely. There are two small children who create constant chaos and noise at home. They are constantly whining, requesting something etc. They need to be looked after and cared for.
You can watch a movie or read a book only in the late night when children are sleeping. “Patriarchs” feel good. They have ten-room apartments, their own office, they work not so hard and hires a nanny etc.
In the absence of grandmothers (and ideally, they should not be in your home, because the mother-in-law creates more problems than help) we will have to divide the custody of children and household management in half. E.g. it’s easier for me to clean my apartment on the weekend than to play with two children. Just as it is easier to hold a couple of working events than half an hour playing with a child.
And now the main question is what material and useful it gives a man, i.e. what exactly increases the COMFORT of a man when there are children?? As for me – NOTHING! “Patriarchs” may be feeling different. They are bored without children. For example, one wrote to me that children give him the meaning of life. There was no point in it before – and how did he, poor fellow, live without meaning. Another says that children even secrete certain pheromones that are useful for the “high-ranking male”. Apparently, he is talking about the contents of diapers and about the flavors of baby regurgitation.
If you do not like to smell baby poop you can hardly feel the pragmatic joy of having children.
And another factor: when you are about or over 40, children suck the life energy out of you. I.e. it turns out this case: you work hard until you’re 40 to get your bread out and after 40 years you are ruined by double work plus the constant burden of responsibility for children.
Could this be the cause of prohibitively high mortality of Russian men? We live at the threshold of poverty, and we need to work hard on 3 fronts (work, raise children and raise a wife).
It turns out that the picture is perfect in its absurdity: men who are affected by women and the system are aggressively imposed a worldview in which they need to plow until they are 40 years old in order to have children…. to plow then in order to raise children …. you do not plow in order to increase your comfort, but to make your life even worse. It’s a vicious circle.
If there were no children, you would be able to spend what you have earned so hard only for yourself – you can work less, relax more. But if you have children you will work more and almost forget about the rest.
It’s great when you’re about 50.
Moreover, the family is one woman. Certainly, somebody can be “encoded” and change mistresses, and somebody is an “alfa-male” and mistresses give sex not for money. But usual man has no time & money for mistress.
And sex with your wife (the mother of your children) gets bored after 3 years. And the “carcass” of a woman after childbirth is not so hot. Now, you sit there and think, what did you get at all, other than dull sex; for all that you put in and will put in again?
And one more observation: “patriarchs” and “ideologists” would like to speak about how they are loved and appreciated by young women in their fifth decade. Answer them that women value not them, but their money and opportunities – this is the same form of domestic prostitution, only the side view.
It’s funny to read fantasies about how females are “punched on instinct” by older men. This is the sale of pussy in its purest form. And they were punched on instinct by those with whom they just fucked before meeting with the “Patriarch”. Here is a completely different type of relationship: take away money/opportunities from the “Patriarch” – there will be no pussy, and this despite the fact that there are a lot of stories about that how young females cheat on the real “high-ranking males” (not virtual science fiction writers who have appointed themselves as “prophets”, but those who have real resources and power) with cute beggar “alphas”.