The other day, my old friend called me to congratulate on the holiday and told me the details of his story. I know him for a long time, we often discuss his fate. Until 2019, it seemed to me that he was just unlucky, but after my enlightenment, I now see the classics of the genre.
My friend lives in the United States; he is an immigrant from Ukraine. For the first 4 years, he worked 12 hours at all sorts of menial jobs: construction, cleaning toilets, and other horrors. A person has 16 hours of wakefulness in a day. This means that he has 4 hours for himself, and two hours for the road. Total: only 2 hours to go to the store, buy food, take a shower, eat and watch TV. But the brain requires entertainment and, working for 12 hours, it began to realize this. He had learned the language quickly. My friend gradually got connections: on acquaintance found a good office job with a decent salary. Then he started thinking about legalizing his position, i.e. getting immigration documents. He started looking for an American woman on the Internet. He found her, made an appointment with her to meet at a cafe, but she did not come, then, in the end, he decided to talk to the waitress. That’s how they met. His dating style was a demonstration of resources. The crisis in relations was laid at the very beginning.
As long as he had a decent job, everything was going well. They spent his money. His wife quit her job. Yes, they were married. His savings were spent on a wedding trip, on a trip to several States. But she was in no hurry to process immigration documents. She didn’t like the upcoming tussle with the authorities, interviews, and so on. The friend was still in an illegal position. The crisis of 2008 broke out. He lost his job. He could not get an American job because he did not have a work permit. It could have been if his wife had issued immigration documents after all. But she decided to go a simple way, namely, get rid of the groom-sucker. She found a reason to fight. His wife expressed a desire to go to a nightclub together, relax, and hang out. My friend did not like this idea, but he was persuaded. In the club, she started to pick unfamiliar guy up, dance with him, climbed to kiss. The friend did not do anything, did not go to beat the muzzle. At home, the wife arranged a scolding on this basis:
– I was molested by a unfamiliar guy, touched me for intimate places, you just stood aside, did nothing, did not fill his face, did not stand up for me.
– You molested him yourself!”
– You want to say that I’m a slut?
As a result of this conversation, my friend, a fool, gave her a little thump. Immediately, the police arrived, which issued a security order, my friend had to spend the night with friends. A week later, it was revealed that she was pregnant. She took her security order and told the police that she was drunk and that she had a bad dream. They started a new relationship. He took menial jobs. His wife still didn’t want to apply for immigration documents. At the same time, she still did not work. Having a child didn’t fix the situation. There were swearing, scandals. This time my friend left. The wife asked the lawyer how to apply for child support. Then it occurred to her that since he was illegal, she couldn’t get anything out of him. After that, she changed her anger to mercy, again showed love, this time the wife began to issue immigration docks for “husband”, during the interview they seemed the perfect couple. In some States a permanent green card is given after the first interview (this is for those who want to catch me). As soon as he received the card, she requested alimony. They left from each other to different States. He did not pay alimony, for 10 years, 30 thousand dollars of debt ran up. There were several court cases, both spouses spent money on lawyers.
But that’s not the whole story. In another state, he again decided to find a permanent girlfriend using Dating sites. For the most part, he searched among Russian speakers. He suffered a lot of setbacks: girls didn’t come to meetings, behaved like pigs. The reason was is follows. American women are “scary” in two ways. There is excess weight, not necessarily 100 kg, most often 10 kg extra. But most women’s cheeks hang. Any thin American woman causes increased interest among Americans. The second point is that they do not have a developed culture of “being beautiful”, I’m talking about culture, not about business on this. For example, girls from former Soviet countries start wearing makeup at school, so they gain experience: the ability to apply shadows, carefully paint their lips, and combine the colors of lipstick, and so on. The average American can’t do that. You can meet a 20-year-old American woman who decided to put on makeup for a date for the first time. From the outside, it looks like the inept efforts of a teenager. In truth, half a century ago, the culture of beauty in the United States existed. If you watch documentaries of that time, you will see for yourself. Now, before a date, American women go to a beauty salon, where they are painted. That is, most of the time they spend without makeup at all. Why did I tell you this? A thin and made-up Russian-speaking girl is in great demand among Americans. There’s a lot of attention for her. True, Russian girls complain that they are not approached by millionaires, but all sorts of Mexican drug addicts, homeless people and… But such attention spoils them. They always think that just a little more and a millionaire will appear on the horizon. Therefore, Russian-speakers behave extremely piggish.
My friend made another mistake, that is, decided to get acquainted with the Russian-speaking. He has drunk a lot of humiliation, rudeness, indifference from them, and one day he meets a “divorced girl with a trailer” (divorced woman with a child from ex-husband – interpreter’s note). Demo mode on top. But then it started: to feed the “family” he had to go to two jobs.
He came to her for every birthday (not his) son, gave gifts. He raised her son on Skype. After 8 years, an American woman, that is, the wife, decided to file for divorce, as she found a new cuckold (rich). But the funny thing is that her new American boyfriend was led to her persuasions and decided to sign up as a father for her son, i.e. to take on paternity. My friend voluntarily renounced paternity from that moment; his wife even promised that she would stop demanding payment from him for a debt that the court had already awarded. This, of course, didn’t happen.
I recommend a friend not to get upset. If he had remained the father (son is not his!), he would have had to pay another 40 thousand before the son came of age. And the son will still reach out to his own father. It is likely that he will want to move in with him after coming of age. Since as you grow up, questions accumulate to yourself and you realize that the answers must be sought in the genes. And for this purpose it is enough to look at native people, to realize, from where you have such models of behavior.